I asked myself this question a lot over the past three years. It never seemed to bother me that much, not having more confidence. Probably mainly because I lived “happily” in my comfortzone with no need to step out of it. Then the big 50 looked me in the eye and screamed at me “if you want to move forward, do something with your life and help as many people as possible, then stop doing what you always do! Take action! Go for it now or you will never do it!”

It was actually quite frightening and it was also not that I didn’t want to, I was scared. I was so scared that I wasn’t able to help people, that I was not good enough, that I was not expert enough. You see, I had only one certification other than that of my High School graduation and my swimming lessons. That one certification I received after finishing a training where I learned how to be a conduit for energy healing and that was 20 or so years ago. In a previous blog I wrote about the rules of the mind and how the mind loves what is familiar. Well I can definitely say that my mind was almost cemented in the familiar.

I am learning

At the same time I did realize I could not stay where I was, that I needed to change. I had and still have this vision in my head of a rescue farm. Not just a rescue farm for animals, also a farm for people. For people to take a break from their hectic lives, to immerse themselves in tranquillity, to meditate, do yoga, workshops, help in the vegetable garden or with the animals, get healing.

I was well aware that this would not magically appear right away, and I knew I had a lot to learn before I would or will be there. So I asked myself the question I thought was the most important; “What do I need to learn to become more confident?” And from that point onwards lessons and people came on my path to teach me what I need to know. Slowly I started to realize that everything I need is already inside of me.

The old buggers

Becoming aware that everything is already inside me was exciting. Only it made me question why. If it is already inside me then why don’t I reap the benefits? Why am I still struggling with money? Why are clients not lining up to work with me? Even when I take action, why is there nothing? Why, why, why? Those old beliefs, they are buggers and they hold on so tight. Where do they come from? Why are they even there? It actually doesn’t matter, what matters is what you do with them.

After I had a hypnotherapy session I realized that I didn’t need those beliefs any longer. I wanted new beliefs. Still, I fell back into the same pattern time and time again. And time and time again there was a new old belief that needed to be shattered. I found that confidence is not a simple thing. Confidence needs to be taken care of, to be watered like a plant, so that it can grow. And so my journey kept going, from Christie Marie Sheldon to Marisa Peer to Danielle Amos to Tony Robbins with some Ken Honda and Christy Whitman in between. Even though (self-)confidence was a big chunk of the journey, it did cover more than only that.

Confidence is contagious

All of the teachings I learned helped me on my way, but what really did it for me was just doing it. To become more visible online I needed to be consistent in posting on my social media. Before, I managed to force out one post maybe every two months. So I started working with a team of virtual assistants. In the beginning they had to push me to come up with content. Now, I see content in everything I do. It helps that I do not have to also post it myself, so I don’t doubt and second guess.

The second thing I did, is podcast. Yes, I am doing a podcast alone and one with a friend. The one with my friend, The Cat & Erna Show, started as an experiment and we did just audio….twice. We had a guest and somehow audio didn’t work, so we started recording the podcast on Zoom. It didn’t take long before we had our own YouTube channel and do weekly podcasts now, that we record and put on our channel. If I had to do it alone, I probably would not have done it. Doing it together with someone gave me the confidence to just do it. If she can, then I can too! The step towards going life on Facebook and making short video’s by myself and posting them on social media became smaller and smaller.

So “what do I need to learn to become more confident?” I learned to do it my way, baby steps at the time and to do it together with someone I trust (along with some other tips and practices).

If I can, you can!

With love,

Erna